Minister's Monthly Message

Rev. Dr. Judith Smith-Valley

IN BETWEEN TIME 

My colleague Rev. Robert Latham retired interim minister and wise mentor says of the interims he successfully led during his thirty year career,
The focus of the entire two year period was not who they wanted in a minister but
what they brought to the search process that would attract any minister they
might be excited about...in brief, the goal of the interim was not to prepare the
Congregation for a new minister, it was to achieve a state of spiritual health that
would open them to a deeply fulfilling relationship with any minister they might call.

We are in our second year of this interim for First Parish Brewster.  Your Board has completed their Retreat and the Mid-term Interim Appraisal for planning and is working on a covenant of how they are together.  The Council passed their own covenant.  The value of such documents is in the discussion as they are crafted and as a reminder as work together progresses.  I have witnessed the gentle reminder when discussions appear to be crossing the line.  Everyone takes a breath and moves back into civility.  This simple process makes it possible for lively discourse within teamwork that is both trustworthy and true.

The Ministerial Search Committee has consulted with all the FPB leadership and shared their findings.  One of the concerns voiced by members and friends of FPB is "how you act with each other."  This is the area of "right relationship" that I have mentioned before.  We will keep you posted as we progress with a process.

Meanwhile, my colleague Rev. Art Severance has compiled 10 Rules for Church Behavior.

The 10 Rules for Church Behavior

1. Start with the Golden Rule; indeed, maybe that's all we need!  Treat people the way you want to be treated.
   
2. Remember, many people get especially angry with people who remind them of themselves.  Sometimes we are actually angry at ourselves.
   
3. Be slow to anger but quick to forgive.
   
4. The Messiah/God/Buddha/etc. is already among us, disguised.  It might even be our nemesis.  How would I act differently if I knew for sure?
   
5. Worry more about being loving than being right.
   
6. If your behavior was close to Christmas, would it be listed under naughty or nice?  That old childhood advice is still valuable for email or speech.  When you find yourself angry, count to 10 before speaking.  If email, wait 24 hours!
   
7. Listen fully and openly without already thinking of what you are going to say in rebuttal.
   
8. If three people tell you that you're drunk, lie down.
   
9. Treat everyone as if they are your lover.
   
10. Beware the great sin of cynicism; no one likes the "Devil's Advocate." Try being the "Angel's Advocate."

Enjoy and use as appropriate. 

Judy